that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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