Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You need Xanax blowdarts
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize