Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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