we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
