There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
