Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
