apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
