I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
tell me about the fingering
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