New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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