I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
