Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
