i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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