I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
