you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
