used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
