Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
