Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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