My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize