some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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