I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
