i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize