Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
