There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
