One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
