But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
