I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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