Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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