I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
