So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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