Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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