I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
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