wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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