eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
