i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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