I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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