I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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