ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
All I want is dick and wine.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
