what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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