whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Soap is not a condiment
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize