Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
