My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Congratulations! We have a period
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
