i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
