The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
