And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
