why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
