i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
