IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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