all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
