My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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