I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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