I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
