called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
