Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
