hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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