The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
