I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize