He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
