Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
