You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You don't make any sense
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