why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Randomize