I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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