we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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