I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
