Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
