oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
