NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
