Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
