I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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