either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
