Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
