what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
