If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
