He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
